Blog Brother Episode 2 – #BLOGBROTHER

ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR A SECOND INSTALLMENT OF BLOG BROTHER? YOU BETTER BEEEEEEEEE!!!!! LET’S GO!

Guys, they remixed the Big Brother theme song. I LOVE IT! It’s nostalgic, but also it’s like a club remix! DUBSTEP BROTHER, AMIRITE?!

So Jodi’s gone. R.I.P. Jodi. We barely knew ye. Seriously, we didn’t know you at all apart from that 30 second clip in the first episode. So who cares? Not me. Boogie doesn’t care either. Moving on.

Guys, Danielle and Kara are going to be the best friends. Bosom buddies. GET IT?! Dan’s Angels are now down to two.

Boogie wants Dan to “Will it up” with him. CBS handily provided the #bbwillitup hashtag for those of us who would like to discuss this development on Twitter. THANKS CBS! Of course Janelle and Britney see this and decide to team up against the Manipulative Men. The MM. Guys, I love nicknames! Dan and Boogie are The Manipulative Men (MM). Janelle and Britney are… I don’t know. But Dan and his girls are Dan’s Angels… and Dan’s Angels are the Bosom Buddies. I’ll come up with more. I’m SURE OF IT!

Oh goody, it’s our very first “who wants to see my HoH rooooommmmm????” Nobody. But LET’S ALL GO UP THERE ANYWAYS!!! Willie feels good, everyone else is jealous, and… the coach of the HoH also gets their own private room and… there’s also not a door. Haha. WEIRD. Are we going to see any coach/houseguest romances? Doubt it. Isn’t everyone married?

Ian’s got pink boxers. That’s cute. He can’t sleep, so he’s walking around the house talking to himself. And… hiding under things? What? Willie, Janelle, Britney, and Jojo/Ashley (?) are just laughing to themselves. This is actually hilarious. I don’t know what’s going on.

So Danielle and Britney are for sure teaming up. And their teams are in on it (for the most part). They’re all one big happy family, so Willie feels safe revealing that he’s Russell’s brother. Cool I guess or something. Janelle refers to Dan and Boogie as Chilltown. BLASPHEMY! Joe’s loud.

And so the lines are drawn. LET THE BATTLE BEGIN (That’s a little Food Network humor for you)!

Aw, it’s our first “chilling in the backyard” segment of the summer. SO MANY MEMORIES GUYS! It’s like coming home again. Willie’s trying to make an alliance with Frank, which is interesting because DIFFERENT COACHES! I guess that was to be expected. Frank says he’s playing his game, not Boogie’s game. That being said, Boogie seems to be impressed that Frank’s already wheeling and dealing with the opposition. More on this as it develops.

Haha, Ian’s so weird. Everyone is creeped out by him. He walks on his tip toes, he’s always moving, he stares at people. He’s driving everyone mad. What is wrong with this guy? He’s streaking through the house with Joe’s cowboy hat, watching girls shower, dancing in his pink boxers. I hope he stays just because of how uncomfortable he makes everyone.

TWIST TIME! Apparently the four coaches have their own challenge – they compete to award one of their players with immunity. Interesting… poor Britney. Oh, and the coaches competition also decides who the have-nots will be for the week. OH SNAP! You have to rely on your coach for food and sleep? Yikes. Poor Britney’s team.

Guys, Ashley is a really odd duck. I hope she dates Ian.

So, in this challenge, the coaches must wear horses. HAHA. I’m not even going to tell you what that means.

In the Big Brother Derby, the coaches must race in the same direction around a track, trying to reach the horse in front. To win, you must yank the tale off the horse in front of you. And the track is slippery and there are horse “jumps” to overcome. #BBDERBY guys. Of course, in the first round, Boogie takes Britney’s tale. BIG TWIST GUYS! Dan decides that he’s going to throw it because he wants to put the target on Janele. Dan thinks he’s soooo brilliant for throwing the challenge. Boogie and Danielle, head-to-head, just like OLD TIMES! And BOOGIE WINS! “ANY QUESTIONS?!” “Shut up Boogie, no, no question!” Oh Danielle. I BARELY KNOW YOU BUT I REALLY LIKE THE OLD DANIELLE SO YOU WILL HAVE TO DO FOR ME THIS SUMMER! Boogie gives his immunity to Ian. Because DUH.

Guys, look how ridiculous this show is.

And as it turns out… each coach must choose one of their players to be a have-not. OUCH. Shane, Danielle, Ashley, and Ian are the have-nots. GUYS, THIS IS WHERE THE ASHLEY/IAN LOVE STARTS! So those are the 4 who are on slop this week. I’ve always been curious about slop… like… it looks like porridge. It’s porridge, right? Is porridge really that bad? I mean, I guess plain old porridge isn’t great, but it’s edible. I wonder if it’s not porridge…

Guys, there are raised bullets on Danielle’s butt, according to her! THE HAVE-NOT ROOM SUCKS, RIGHT?! I think it’s pretty cool.

Alright, game time. Danielle and Janelle are trying to figure out who Willie should nominate. I’m sure Willie will listen to them.

Boogie doesn’t think that Janelle and Britney are on his level, intellectually. That’s SUCH a Boogie think to say, amirite?!

Joe is bothering people because he cooks for himself and then doesn’t clean up. So Boogie thinks that Willie should throw up Joe. Of course, Willie has a deal with Joe, as part of the Janelle/Britney coach alliance. I need a better name for that. Um… Maybe they should be the Bosom Buddies alliance. I just don’t know! Regardless, I just realized how frustrating this coaching twist must be for the players. It severely limits who you can nominate. You don’t get to choose your alliances in this season, and if you do, then you’re alienating your coach. Very interesting.

Alright, first nominations of the summer. Ian is exempt. Jojo is safe. Shane is safe. Wil is safe. Danielle is safe. Frogger is safe. Jenn is safe. Joe is safe. Willie has chosen Kara and Frank. Interesting. One from Dan and one from Boogie. Willie stuck with the Bosom Buddies (that’s it, it’s sticking. And so is Frogger.).

#WHOISGOINGHOME

#IDONTKNOW

#FINDOUTONTHENEXTNEXTBLOGBROTHERORCHECKONLINEBECAUSEITSALREADYAIREDLOLBYE

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