Blog Brother Episode 8 – The Trick To A Dreamboard Is You Have To Believe In It

AAAAANNNNNDDDDD WE’RE BACK! BLOG BROTHER! COMIN’ AT CHA!!!!

Day 20. Let’s do this. Shane. HOH. Guys, Shane NEEDS to win this game, because he doesn’t have a job. In fact, he actively spends money to unsuccessfully flip houses. It’s going to be hard for Shane though. Everybody wants him gone. He may not be gone this week, but… well… WE’LL SEE! PS. Shane’s full speed with Danielle. Whatever that means.

I guess I shouldn’t say that everyone wants Shane gone. Britney is glad Shane won. Danielle is glad Shane won. Boogie (and Frank) is glad Shane won. I think it’s Janelle’s people who really need to worry, and Wil’s already shaking in his hooker boots.

GUYS, WHO WANTS TO SEE SHANE’S HOH ROOM?!?! Danielle’s excited to see it, because who knows, she could be spending a lot of time up there this week, “Hahaha, oh God”. Hahaha, Oh Danielle. Shane says “Dig in guys, what’s mine is yours.” Nobody says anything. Nobody moves. Silence. SO. AWKWARD. Nobody wants to be the first to leave. Shane pretty much has to kick them out. Wow… Don’t try to get on his good side or anything guys.

Britney, Dan, Danielle, and Shane are hanging out in the HOH room. “Dan, it’s like our kids are like… dating.” HAHA, way to make it awkward Britney. Moving on, Britney thinks they need to nominate one of Boogie’s players and one of Janelle’s players, specifically Wil and Frank. Shane’s down with Wil, but says no to Frank, but he can’t reveal that he has an alliance with Frank, so let the lying begin!

Joe doesn’t want to be on the block, so he’s making a fancy breakfast for Shane. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. WOW. Boogie says that Joe has reached new depths of patheticness (not a word, according to spell-check) with his butt-kissing.

Boogie asks Ashley if she’s a hippie-chick. Ashley says yes, partially because she uses dreamboards, but it’s weird because she loves rap music. Boogie stops her – “What’s a dreamboard?” “It’s a board and you put things you want on it.” Boogie says he may be into this. Ashley says that she got an iPhone out of it. Boogie’s intruiged. “Yeah, I was walking in Wal-Mart and this guy comes up to me and asks me if I want to trade my Droid for an iPhone, and I wanted an iPhone, so I said yes, but my contract wasn’t up yet and he said that it’s okay.” Uh… The trick to a dreamboard is that you have to believe in it. Boogie says that his dreamboard would be his three players competing against Ashley in the finals. Geez…

Time for Jenn to talk about coming out as a lesbian. They have this moment every season. Only this season, they can do it twice because Wil’s not a part of this conversation!!! Haha, Danielle was afraid of girls hitting on her. HAHA. I love this show. It sounds like Danielle was a bit of a homophobe coming into this house, but Jenn is changing her opinion. That’s good I guess.

Now Danielle is trying to convince Shane to put up Frank. Shane’s starting to doubt his alliance with Frank, but not his alliance with Danielle, as they’ve just agreed to go to the final two together. Danielle’s excited because it means a week alone in the house with Shane, hahahahahahaha. She does this goofy, embarrassed giggle whenever she talks about Shane. It’s endearing and also annoying.

COACHES COMPETITION! It looks like they’re going to have a gym-themed challenge called “Feel The Burn”. Let’s see what we’ve got… the Booty-Scooty 6000, the Hip-2-Hip Extreme, and the Tongue Trainer Elite (huh?). The coaches come out in their workout gear and Ashley remarks that they all need spray-on tans. Thanks for the input Ashley. At each station, the coaches compete to get the highest number of reps. The person with the lowest does not move on to the next station, but they DO get to go over to a locker and pick a “prize”. Let the battle BEGIN!

The Booty-Scooty 6000 requires players to slide back and forth on a seat. Janelle remarks that “This is one motion that I did not want to see Mike Boogie do”. Fair enough Janelle. Fair enough. Quite surprisingly, Boogie actually WINS! Britney’s the first one out. She goes over to a locker and picks out a sock that grants her the ability to choose 2 have-nots for the week. Once again, Ian volunteers, claiming it as part of his strategy. Britney picks Joe, who does NOT look impressed, but then again, when does he ever?

Up next, the Hip-2-Hip Extreme, where the coaches move their hips side-to-side rapidly. Boogie and Dan look pretty goofy. Janelle seems to have the hang of it. Everyone seems impressed by her hip movement, but none more than Ashley, oddly enough. Boogie’s eliminated. He goes to his locker and finds $10,000 cash, which he gets to share with 2 other people. The cash comes in 3 different increments: $6,000, $3,000, and $1,000. Boogie takes the $6,000 for himself (no surprise there), Ian is granted the $3,000, and Jenn gets the $1,000. Ian’s crying. He says that as a student, he has no idea what $3,000 even is.

Finally, it’s the Tongue Trainer Elite, in which Dan and Janelle flick a switch with their tongues. Erotic. Janelle is destroying that switch with her tongue. Dan is… not so much. Boogie feels bad for all of the girls back in Michigan who had to endure Dan’s tongue technique. In the least surprising turn of events ever, Janelle wins. Janelle’s feeling pretty good that she won a challenge using her tongue. I bet that was difficult for her. Dan goes over to his locker and wins a private sushi/cocktail party for him and 5 others. He picks the coaches, Shane, and Danielle. So all of Janelle’s players and all of Boogie’s players are left out. No surprise there. Janelle decides to save Wil which throws a huge wrench into Shane’s plans. Guess Frank and Joe are going up.

Guys, I’ve included a video of this competition because it’s just too good not to watch:

When we see what the have-nots get to eat this week, I immediately think “Froot Loops and Fish”, but it’s really “Cereal and Salmon”. I think mine sounds better. Apparently this stemmed from a comment Boogie made to Willie about eating “Froot Loops and Salmon”, so even Big Brother didn’t get it right.

Let’s hang out in the HOH room! Joe and Janelle have come up to talk game with Shane and Britney. Remember when Britney and Janelle were bosom buddies? Anyways, Joe just wants to know what’s going on. Janelle wants to get back on Britney’s good side. I don’t think it’s working. Now Boogie and Frank are up pleading their case. They want Shane to put up Janelle’s two players but Britney wants to hit both teams equally because she’s worried about Boogie’s people going back to Janelle’s next week. Nobody knows what to do. Britney’s freaking out. Big Brother is getting SO IMPATIENT! “Shane, please go to the diary room.” “Shane, please go to the diary room.” “Shane, please go to the diary room.” WE GET IT! THE TENSION IS BORDERLINE UNBEARABLE NOT REALLY!

Alright, nomination time. Jenn is safe. Ian is safe. Danielle is safe. Frank is safe. Joe and Ashley are nominated for eviction. Wow, Ashley has turned on the waterworks! She is DRIPPING! Shane’s making a bit of a gamble here. Boogie and Frank better be loyal. Janelle is pissed, but that was to be expected. According to Joe, it’s on like Donkey Kong now. What are you going to do Joe, COOK HIM OUT?! YOU GUNNA HAVE A COOK OUT?!

Is Joe going to have a cook out? Find out on the next topical episode of BBBLLLLOOOOOOOOGGGG BRRROOOTTTHHHEEERRRR!!!

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