IGHT! LIVE EVICTION PEEPS! At least, it was live. At some point. RECORDED EVICTION PEEPS!
Wil is FURIOUS! He’s like “What is UP?! He threw away a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY!” Take the hint Wil. They’re in an alliance.
Britney and Danielle try to tell Dan how close it was. Dan thinks they’re joking or shrugs it off or something. Now Dan’s doing damage control upstairs. He thanks Frank for keeping him safe and Frank lets him know that he could have put him up. Frank thinks he’s building trust but in Dan’s eyes, Frank can no longer be trusted because if he’s already thought of backdooring him, it means that he’ll eventually do it.
Ashley asks Frank out on an ice cream date. Dan respects that Ashley went for it instead of waiting around for the guy to make a move. Ian’s like “I was going to make her dinner” and Dan’s like “No you weren’t.” Aww, poor Ian! FRANK’S STEALING HIS GIRL!
Anyways, Ashley claims that she’s trying to get some inside info on how Frank’s feeling about Wil, but once she gets up there, well… there isn’t much game talk going on.
“Well, you’re dumped. How do you feel right now?” Britney asks Ian tactfully.
“Do you want to go make out on the couch for a little bit?” This is Frank’s favorite move and he claims that it usually works. It certainly works on Ashley. “Frank is very Channing Tatum-esque.” Oh kill me now.
“Do you think she’s going to make out with Frank tonight?” Britney tactfully asks Ian. He admits he’d be jealous.
Frank is worried about Ian. Ashley says that he’s not actually upset. “Oh, he’s upset.”
Boogie and Frank are sitting pretty thinking that they control things, but realistically, it’s the Quack Pack that has the numbers. They’ll choose who stays and who goes.
“My name’s Sarah. I’m Joe’s wife. I mean, MY NAME’S SARAH. I’M JOE’S WIFE!” ZING SARAH! Joe makes a joke about how he dated his wife’s mother first. Dan is stunned. What he meant was, when he first met his wife online, he was really talking to her mother, who was trying to get rid of her. I can see my mom doing something like that. Even Joe’s family can’t stand his yelling.
Time to talk to Jeff for some reason! JUST IN CASE ANYONE WAS WORRIED, Jeff and Jordan are still together. So… PHEW. Breath that sigh of relief. BREATH IT! Jeff’s cheering for Ian. Didn’t Will say he liked Ian? It seems like everyone thinks Ian has what it takes. I just don’t see it. He’s too passive. Jeff’s now interviewing Julie. She says that if she were in the house, she’d be going hard, a combination of Boogie and Janelle, always playing everyone. I would LOVE to see Julie Chen in the house. That would be amazing! I would also love to see Jeff Probst play Survivor. This is a great idea. Things are brewing in my mind. HOW DO I MAKE ALL OF THE HOSTS COMPETE ON THEIR OWN SHOWS?!?!?
Julie’s giving the contestants a current event pop quiz. “There was a big celebrity engagement this week, who do you think is getting married? Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez?” IT WAS SPLIT! The correct answer was Jennifer Aniston. “Which country do you think won the most gold medals? China or the United States?” Everyone starts chanting “USA”. Boogie screams “China!”. Which team was Dwight Howard traded to? THE LAKERS?! All the guys in the house minus Ian and shocked. “Which of these current events are true: For the first time in history a woman refereed an NFL game, NASA landed a rover on Mars, or Twilight darlings Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison have split up?” ALL THREE GUYS! LET THE SHOCK BEGIN!
Man, as much as I wish I were in the Big Brother house, it WOULD be hard to be that in the dark about everything that has gone on the last couple of months. That being said, how exciting would it be to get out and have 3 months of news/TV/movies/music/sports/etc. to catch up on? I think it would be exciting…
Eviction time. Joe just made a joke about how he’s loud, but he’s taking “Human Whispering” night classes or something… nobody laughs. I didn’t even see anyone smile. Julie tells him that he’s loud AND long-winded. ZING!
Frank – HOH
Wil – Nominated
Joe – Nominated
Ashley – Joe
Boogie – Wil
Danielle – Wil
Jenn – Joe
Dan – Wil
Britney – Wil
Shane – Wil
Ian – Wil
Janelle – Evicted
Jodi – Evicted
Kara – Evicted
Willie – Removed
Jojo – Evicted
THE HAIR IS GONE!!! I mean Wil! Time for goodbye messages. Joe’s goodbye message was weird. He said it was heartbreaking working against him… BUT YOU’RE GONE SEE YA SUCKER! At least that’s how it sounded to me. Boogie tells him that he wished he could have coached him – all he needed to do was be the funny guy and he would have coasted to the final 5. Maybe. I could be the funny guy. And meet a girl like Britney. THIS IS THE STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE OF!
HOH COMP! GO! The houseguests need to transfer liquid to a jug, raising a cork to the top where they can grab it and win. BUT, there’s also 2 other jugs. One offers safety for this week and one offers $10,000. If they are the first to win either of the other 2 prizes, they are out of the competition. Relatively simple stuff. Oh, and the ground is slippery. Ashley can barely move because of her back. Danielle’s crawling. The course is slanted and the jugs are at the bottom. Ian tries to slide. It doesn’t work. Danielle tries to use the ropes dividing the lanes to help her up. Julie scolds her. She apologizes. Boogie’s going for the cash prize, which is pretty gutsy. 4 are going for HOH (not sure who) and 4 are going for safety (once more, not sure who). Annndd… that’s all! Next week is a double eviction. EXCITING! Maybe that blog post will be twice as long!