Guys. Guys! GUYS!! HOLY CRAP! LAST EPISODE! AM I RIGHT?! JEEEEZZZ!!!
I was so mesmerized last week by Dan’s masterful plan that I didn’t even have time to be upset that Britney’s most likely going home this episode. NOOO!!!!
Guys, as upset as I am about my girl Britney most likely going home, I have to tell you, I’m really excited. I haven’t been this excited to watch an episode of Big Brother in a long time. It certainly hasn’t happened this season. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE IAN AND FRANK GO AT IT!
I’ve long considered Dr. Will to be the greatest Big Brother player of all time, but damn man… damn. Dan is certainly giving him a run for his money. I thought Dan was gone for sure.
Ian and Frank are arguing up in the HoH room now. Ian’s trying to argue but he looks so awkward doing so. Conflict doesn’t suit him at all.
Britney enters the arcade room thingy and says “So Dan lives to fight again…” “You know it’s not personal.” “I’m assuming I’m the target?” “You’ll have to talk to the HoH. I just know I’m safe.” “Dan, come on… don’t you owe it to me to be honest? I’ve been nothing but good to you.” Dan is silent. “You’re being so cold. Why, because I’m on the block, so now I have to play? It is just a game, and Dan it’s important to me how you treat people. It’s important to me, in the jury, as a jury member, how you treat people.” Poor Brit.
Danielle’s still trying to pretend that she’s not with Dan. We’ll see how good of an actor she is.
Now Britney’s heading up to talk to Jenn and Frank. Frank’s argument is that if he can get Britney out of the house then Ian’s by himself. Britney’s sick of people placing blame on her. Now Britney’s breaking down and pledging her loyalty to the two of them. I’m afraid it may be too late for that Brit.
Frank walks through the living room and Shane goes “You alright Frank? I know that’s a tough position.” “Yeah… thanks though Shane.” Now Ian speaks up. “Tough decision… that you had several days to think about.” Frank stops. “You had several days to decide you were going to vote Mike out!” “I had 30.6 seconds.” It’s on. I’m not going to recap the entire argument because I’ve been doing that too often as of late, but Frank and Ian are now clearing the air about everything. Frank’s just laughing. Ian is tripping over his words. He’s angry though. “Anybody who takes him to the end is a fool. If you sit next to him in the final 2, he wins 7-0.” Frank agrees. “You’re not telling anybody anything they don’t already know.”
Britney’s not done yet guys. Her strategy? Throw Dan under the bus. She’s openly mocking him and talking about how he’s only out for himself and anybody who believes otherwise is a fool. She really doesn’t like him. Frank’s loving that the target on Dan’s back is growing. Now Britney’s going to chastise Dan to his face. “Do you have nothing to say?” “I don’t exactly what to say to you.” “You can’t even say sorry?” Dan’s great at avoiding conflict. He just goes “I don’t know” and walks away.
Now Joe and Shane are having a meeting. Shane’s conflicted because it’s between getting rid of his closest friend or getting rid of his coach. Joe will vote for whoever Shane wants him to vote for, and it’ll probably be Danielle.
JULIE CHEN TIME! She’s asking about the mood in the house. He says it’s better, but more tense than it was a few weeks ago. Duh.
THE BRIGADE IS BACK! Enzo, Matt, Lane, and Hayden. Apparently they’re still quite close. “We did do Britney dirty”. Matt still talks to Britney multiple times a week? Crazy. “If Britney didn’t complain, we wouldn’t like Britney!” I like to think that that’s how people feel about me.” Lane would like to put Ian in his fanny pick to figure out tips for waitresses at restaurants. The Brigade is creeped out by Shane’s stalker, Danielle. The difference between the Quack Pack and the Brigade? No loyalty among ducks.
EVICTION TIME!!!! Danielle gives a sweet little speech that I’m sure convinces nobody of anything. Britney’s up. “I don’t have the time or a big enough ego to stand here and host my own funeral, but I understand that you gotta go in there and do what’s best for your game and for no one else’s”. Oh, and she ends it by pointing at Dan and saying “You’ll always be Judas to me.” It was supposed to be funny.
Frank – HoH
Britney – Nominated
Danielle – Nominated
Dan – Britney
Jenn – Britney
Ian – Danielle
Shane – Britney
Joe – Britney
Ashley – Evicted
Boogie – Evicted
Wil – Evicted
Janelle – Evicted
Jojo – Evicted
Willie – Removed
Kara – Evicted
Jodi – Evicted
By a vote of 4-1, Britney is evicted from the Big Brother house, as expected. Off to the jury house to hang with Ashley. You know, Britney may not have won, but at least she plays the game. She gets in there. The only people in the house that may have done more than her this season are Dan and Frank.
Ian’s final words to Britney: “This season’s true beauty has been evicted from the house. I will get that hairy orange beast.”
HoH time. “Soak Up The Sun”. The houseguests are standing on a disc, suspended in the air. The last one to drop wins. The first one to drop gets punished because thanks America. Someone just said “Keep your mouth closed.” Someone replied “That’s what she said.” MATURITY ON LIVE TELEVISION! It wasn’t even a good “that’s what she said”. Joe fell. He’ll be the one punished. Jenn gets hit by … an interstellar body of some sort and drops. Someone on Twitter asks if Ashley is inside the sun applying the spray tan.
HOLY COW, ANOTHER DOUBLE EVICTION NEXT WEEK! I BET IT WILL BE INTENSE! But not as tense as the last episode of BLLOOOGGGGG BROOOTTTHHHEERRRR!!!