Blog Brother Episode 24 – Renegades To The End

BOOM! ANOTHER ONE COMINATCHA! Let’s get right to it.

“So let me get this right… last week I convinced Frank and Jenn to take me off the block, now I’m off the block and they’re on the block. IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?!” Yes Dan. It is.

Danielle’s telling Jenn that she’s not the target, but come on… this is Frank we’re talking about. How many times has he not won the Veto when he was on the block? Is it 0? It might be.

It IS called the Arcade Room!

Is Shane playing with Duplo blocks?

HE IS!

Guys, how is Joe still there? I mean, I know that floater’s always make it farther than they should… but… come on.

Frank’s worried that Dan will go on the block if either he or Jenn  gets themselves pulled off. Wow. Frank’s telling Dan that the best case scenario is that neither he nor Jenn are pulled off with the idea being that it’ll maintain their alliance of two.

Ian’s now strangling a stuffed bear with Snakey. Apparently he just found them like that? Dan gives him a pity “haha that’s funny…” Oh, and now things just got serious with Dan talking about his brothers OCD and asking if Ian has it. He apparently does and he doesn’t like to take medication for it. He’s talking about how he is with the hammock and how he constantly likes to move and bounce around. Ian says it’s not OCD, it’s ADHD. But… he hasn’t been diagnosed? He has to constantly be moving and as I type this, I’m bouncing my knee up and down. Must. Stop. STOP. STOP IT! Okay.

Ian may be a psychopath… or maybe it’s just the ADHD.

I started again.

Veto competition selection ceremony (I’ve never called it that before. Neither has anyone else.).  Frank wants Dan and Danielle playing. Ian picks Dan. Frank picks Danielle. Well that was easy. Jenn picks Joe. Guess Shane’s the host.

Jenn’s hating her life right now. I know that feel Jenn. Frank’s giving her a pep talk. I’m getting bored. It’s late. I don’t feel like typing anymore. UGGGHHH!!! Must. Keep. Going. I’m so unprofessional.

Now Dan and Frank are talking about throwing the Veto to someone in particular. Oh my gosh, if Frank throws this thing… wow. He doesn’t want to come off the block. This is such a monumental mistake. You know how Snakey was choking that bear? DAN IS SNAKEY AND FRANK IS THE BEAR!

What the heck is going on? Apparently there’s been a crash-landing in the backyard. It’s ALIENS!!! #POWEROFVETO! Aliens have crashed on the farm. Oh, and the absent-minded aliens name is Otev, which is Veto spelled backwards #GETIT? Otev is going to give them a riddle. They’ll have to slide down a ramp, find a corn husk that has the answer to the riddle, climb back up the ramp, kneel on their sack, and present their answer (the corn fuels Otev’s ship, you see). The last person to bring him the answer is eliminated. This competition is very similar to ones they’ve had in previous years, what with the ramp and the kneeling and the finding answers to sacrifice/give/feed some kind of weird… thing. The first riddle: “After the coaches reset the game, wasn’t the next evicted a voluptuous dame?” Creepy. Ian doesn’t care if he wins the Veto because he’s been winning way too much lately. Joe, Frank, and Dan have all found the answer. Danielle and Ian are next. Jenn comes in last. Or does she? Danielle slips and Jenn takes her spot. Danielle’s eliminated. Or abducted. Or… some kind of punny thing. I don’t care. “Who reached the end of their run in the eviction after Zingbot was bestowed with a son?” I can’t remember who this is, but everyone else does. It’s Wil. Ian’s last this time. Bye bye. “I forgot his name but he’s quick with his hands, I know he answered wrong in Battle with the Bands”. I can’t remember this one either. I wonder if I’d remember better if I was in the house. I wonder if they have pens and paper? I’d keep a journal every day of the things that happened to help me. Because I’m a loser. Anyways, it’s Boogie. Joe’s last. “This earthling was picked last on day 1. I forget her name but she was the first to be done.” JODI! I knew this one! Frank’s first up. No surprise. Dan comes in second. Jenn-City’s been DEMOLISHED! Puns! Hah! Oooo, Dan and Frank are whispering to each other. Doesn’t look like Frank’s going to throw it though. “Who took the first shot on thin ice, you must not have liked her because you put her up twice.” Apparently it’s Ashley. You guys, I forgot about Ashley. Crazy right? Ooohh, Dan doesn’t know who the right answer is! He just grabbed the first corn that had a girl’s name on it. It turns out he had Ashley. FRANK’S ELIMINATED! I don’t think this has ever happened before! Frank didn’t win the Veto on a week that he was nominated!

Otev is the Veto alien because #CBS is a clever girl.

So, Dan’s totally keeping the nominations the same, right? Oh man… Frank is going to get screwed over so royally. I almost feel bad for him. Dan’s such a great game player but he’s SUCH an ass. He also really likes his self-congratulatory monologues. “Renegades to the end.” Dan and Ian just made a final two pact. Kind of like the final two pact he’s made with both Frank and Danielle. His justification is that before, he played a very honest game, which didn’t work out… wait… didn’t Dan win Big Brother 10? Hmmm…

So Dan needs to take down Jenn because he needs Frank and Jenn to continue to believe that he’s on their side. And it’s justifiable because he technically “owes” her. Ian would then have no other option but to put up Joe. Dan’s positively giddy that his master plan is working. Oh man, and Frank wants him to pull Jenn off as well. EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS HOUSE IS JUST EATING OUT OF HIS HAND! Dan is the Boston Rob of Big Brother.

Dan’s now telling Jenn that her safety is his number one objective this week. He’s also telling Jenn that Ian doesn’t want her taken down. He’s really selling this. He’s going to pull her off the block and she’s going to trust him completely, as is Frank. As is Ian. As is Danielle. Wow. WOW. So much for the death of Dan the Player.

Veto ceremony. As expected, Dan pulls Jenn off. Ian pretends to be pissed. He throws up Joe in Jenn’s place.

Can we start calling him Dan “Hannibal” Gheesling?

Masterful. Absolutely masterful. This game is Dan’s to win unless someone catches on fast.

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