Blog Brother Episode 27 – Are You Two Boyfriend and Girlfriend?

Hooboy. 4 episodes. 3 evictions. It’s been a long journey. We’re almost there.

THERE’S GOING TO BE A LUXURY PRIZE WHERE THE WINNERS GO TO VISIT THE FIERCE FIVE FROM THE OLYMPICS! I hope Mikayla stares someone down.

So this is a surprise eviction episode. The houseguests aren’t aware that it’s live. Hah! They’re all so surprised to see Julie. Wait, is there no Veto competition? Oh, I suppose that that’s already happened. Guess we’ll be getting a recap before the live stuff.

Jenn’s still super upset at Dan, refusing to talk to him. Except she does. And he tries to convince her that it’s a good thing. I don’t think she bought it.

Time for girl talk with Danielle and Jenn! Danielle thinks that Shane has just been playing her this entire summer. Jenn’s like “Yeah, probably” because of course she wants Danielle to be upset with Shane.

OMG, the Veto competition is SALVADOR DALI THEMED! They’ve got to “fly” from their puzzle to a timer located on the other side of… this is going to be impossible to explain. They’re attached to a chord. They’re on a raised platform with a magnetized puzzle board. They swing over to the other side, grab their puzzle pieces, and hit a button that magnetizes their wall for 20 seconds, then swing back over and assemble the puzzle. If they don’t get back and hit the button before the 20 seconds runs out, the board demagnetizes and they all fall down. If this happens, they have 10 seconds to reset their timer before they’re eliminated. COMPLICATED! BETTER BE A GOOD PRIZE LIKE A VETO AND MEETING GYMNASTS!

Guess what? All of them want to win it. Dan wants to get rid of Shane. Ian wants Jenn gone. Jenn wants herself off. Shane wants himself off. Danielle wants… I don’t know. For some reason I was thinking that they only had 20 seconds to assemble the puzzle, but that’s not true. They just need to reset the timer before it runs out. Makes sense. This looks exhausting. Everyone’s trying different strategies. Dan’s smart. He’s arranged all of his pieces on the board and swung over to the other side where he can arrange the puzzle in his head while not wasting time swinging back and forth to reset the timer. Ian tries a similar approach but can’t seem to keep the timer from running out before he gets all of his pieces up. “Girls have told me I have terrible timing… THEY’RE RIGHT!” Ian exclaims with glee. Danielle’s just standing there hitting her buzzer. And now she’s copying Shane. Ian’s still doing awful. And now he’s eliminated. He let the 10 seconds run out. So now he’s helping Shane. Jenn of course hears this. Dan’s not doing great. Shane gets it! He wins the Veto! Guess Dan’s going up. UH OH!!!

TIME FOR LUXURY! TIME FOR GYMNASTICS! Shane’s reading the award to the group. They FLIP for it! Get it? I bet Shane will pick Danielle, despite the fact that Ian helped him win. Sigh… I’d probably pick the girl as well. It’s always weird seeing Big Brother houseguests leave the house. Man, that must be such a weird experience. I WANT TO EXPERIENCE IT! Aww, Shane’s calling it their first date. SO CYUTE! I thought they were called the Fab Five? Why did I think that? The funny thing is, Shane and Danielle have no idea who they are because they didn’t see the Olympics! Mikayla, SCOWL AT SOMEONE! Why aren’t they wearing their medals? “Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend?” AWKWARD. They say they don’t know. They ask if the girls have heard of the show. They nod (kind of). “Who’s your favorite?” Shane asks. “You” replies Mikayla, UNCONVINCINGLY. Shane equates competing in the Olympics to competing on Big Brother. Silence follows. MIKAYLA DID IT! SHE SCOWLED! AND THEY ALL DID! FUN!

You guys, these girls are good gymnasts. Sounds like Shane is turning on the charm for Danielle. Aw. Danielle believes that the feelings she has for Shane are real. AW. “Are you gonna let me sleep in your bed tonight?” Nice Shane. “If we don’t win we walked away with something. Not just the experience, but this night together!” Nice recovery. And cue kiss. Disgusting.

Uh oh… Danielle’s feeling for Shane may be compromising her gameplay. WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE! FIND OUT ON THE NEXT, oh we’re not done yet? Okay.

TIME FOR THE VETO MEETING!!!  Shane used the Veto on himself because he’s not an idiot and Ian put up Danielle in his place. Why? Because he doesn’t want the couple voting together. See Danielle?? It’s ALREADY affecting you!

Guys, who do you think won the $25,000 prize? I THINK IT WAS FRANK NO IAN!!! I would, of course, vote for Britney because I love her.

TIME FOR THE LIVE VOTE! Jenn’s saying goodbye. Danielle’s saying goodbye to Jenn. That’s not obvious.

Ian – HoH

Jenn – Nominated

Danielle – Nominated

Shane – Jenn

Dan – Jenn

Joe – Evicted

Frank – Evicted

Britney – Evicted

Ashley – Evicted

Boogie – Evicted

Wil – Evicted

Janelle – Evicted

Jojo – Evicted

Willie – Removed

Kara – Evicted

Jodi – Evicted

Jenn, you have been evicted from the Big Brother house.

In the most surprising twist ever, Jenn is evicted by a vote of 2-0. BOMBSHELL! HOW WILL THE HOUSE RESPOND?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON what? It’s still not over? Oh. Okay.

Danielle, it’s stupid to miss someone 10 seconds after they’re gone. But I know that feel girl.

Julie gets Jenn a PB&J sandwich because Jenn’s been on slop for 4 weeks. Crazy. I feel like I just watched that episode on Monday night. BECAUSE I DID. How can that be 4 weeks ago? It was only 6 episodes ago.

HoH. Apparently the houseguests were surprised with pictures of their time in the house this summer. Those pictures are crucial to winning this “Photographic Memory” competition. Julie asks questions about the photographs. It’s true or false. Simply. These are complicated questions and I don’t feel like telling you what they were and you don’t care so I’m going to do my unique brand of semi-recapping where I just tell you what the scores are because you love that more. EVERYONE HAS 1 POINT! EVERYONE HAS 2 POINTS! SHANE AND DANIELLE HAVE 3 POINTS! SHANE HAS 4 POINTS! EVERYONE HAS 4 POINTS! THESE ARE HARD QUESTIONS! DAN AND DANIELLE HAVE 5 POINTS! HOW LONG DOES THIS GO! DAN AND DANIELLE HAVE 6 POINTS! TIE-BREAKER! SO MUCH SUSPENSE! DANIELLE WINS BECAUSE HER ANSWER DOESN’T GO OVER EVEN THOUGH IT’S WAY OFF! I’m going to stop yelling now.

Aight. That’s it. 3 mo’ to go.

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