Blog Brother Episode 28 – Dan Wouldn’t Do That To You

And then there were 5. Man, how surprising is it that people like Frank, Britney, and Boogie are gone? TOTES SURPRISING AMIRITE?!

We’ve got another live eviction tonight and this is the big one. Whoever wins the Veto decides who the final three will be.

Dan’s bragging about how he’s got final two deals with all three of them. If they were smart, they’d all turn on him and vote him out, but they won’t. Dan’s played this game too well. He tells Danielle that the student has surpassed the teacher, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Dan’s asking Danielle to put him and Ian up. He figures that if Shane feels safe, he’ll do what Danielle wants him to do and Danielle will do what he wants her to do, even if that means sending Shane home.

FINAL NOMINATION CEREMONY! 1 key. 2 nominations. Shane is safe. Dan and Ian are nominated, just as Dan wanted. Nobody really cares that they’re nominated because it’s the Veto that counts.

UH OH! JURY HOUSE DRAMA! I love seeing what’s going on in the Jury house. I LOVE IT. They haven’t shown us any jury house thus far, so I’m PUMPED! Guys, Ashley’s been getting really good at blowing bubbles. How the hell did Ashley make the jury and not Boogie? BRITNEY!!! She gives Ashley a bit of a scare. “Have you been tanning every day?” “I’ve been laying out but I gained 20 pounds!” Ashley and Britney are friends so no drama there. Alright, time for Frank to enter. Ashley and Britney scream. Do they not like… hear the person entering the house? I bet Ashley’s pumped to be the third wheel in this house. Okay, so far… not much drama. Will Joe bring the drama? Oh, wait… here we go. Britney’s defending Dan saying that he’s played a great game. Frank’s disagreeing. He calls her out on lying to his face. Ashley breaks the tension. “It’s really fun here. We’re going to have a fiesta!” Oh Ashley. Joe comes in. They aren’t scared. I love how everyone in the Big Brother jury house was put there by Dan. Oh, Britney and Frank are fighting again. Frank claims that he was loyal. Britney says that he backstabbed her. She says it’s just a game. Frank can’t accept that. They are raising their voices at each other. Then Frank compares playing the game dishonestly to Britney cheating on her husband and not getting caught which really isn’t the same thing… Frank would do so poorly on Survivor. Joe excuses himself. “I’m getting some more wine”.

FINAL VETO COMPETITION! It’s CHEMISTRY THEMED! Will Ian win? There is a molecule puzzle with 15 clues on it. You match the clues to an ex-houseguest. Get them all right, hit the button, and you win. Some clues have more than one answer but there’s only one way to solve the entire puzzle. Before starting, Dan, Ian, and Shane all quack. Danielle: “Oh my gosh… quack.”  Some clues are linked together meaning they both apply to one person. It’s hard to tell who’s winning. It’s not Ian though. He’s got about 6 wrong. These kinds of puzzles are so frustrating because you don’t know how many you got wrong or which ones they are. Shane buzzes in and he’s got about 6 wrong. Ian buzzes in again and he’s got 3 wrong. Ian buzzes in again and this time he’s got 5 wrong. At this point, you tend to start over thinking things and overcorrecting. Danielle buzzes in and she’s only got 2 wrong. Dan buzzes in with 6 wrong. Ian’s still got 3 out of place. Dan’s still got 6 out of place. DANIELLE WINS IT! Wow. Wow. That means Shane and Danielle are through to the final 3. There’s no way Danielle won’t take Dan, meaning Ian’s as good as gone. Wow. Poor guy.

Meanwhile, Ian still thinks he’s in an alliance with Dan. Buddy… your number’s up. I know that you thought you could trust Dan, but you can’t. Danielle beat you at chemistry. It’s over. Or is it? Dan’s trying to convince Danielle to use the Veto on him… because he doesn’t trust Shane. If she does pull him off, he’ll send Shane packing because he’s got a final two deal with both Ian and Danielle but not with Shane. He promises Danielle that Shane is safe. Wow. Dan continues to sink to new depths. “If I do this and you don’t take me to the final two, I’ll castrate you… with a butter knife!”

Now Danielle has to convince Shane. Her reasoning is this: if she takes Dan of the block, it makes him think that the two of them are less close than they actually are. She promises him that he’ll stay though, because Dan wants Ian gone. “How does it feel to be in the final three Shane? You’re welcome!” And… kiss.

THE SECOND LAST LIVE EVICTION! Man… Danielle is going to be so pissed if Dan goes through with this. DOES SHANE HAVE A ONE-WAY TICKET TO BLINDSIDE CITY?!?!?!?!? Dan’s giving Danielle a really sappy speech about what coaches can learn from their players. Oh brother. YOU ARE A SNEAKY SNAKE DAN! YOU ARE SNAKEY! And she does it. Danielle takes Dan off the block. WOW. WOW. I am so nervous right now. I DON’T KNOW WHY!!! Aww, such a nice speech from Shane. He’s taking too long though. We’re at the part of the game where everyone likes each other, so they’re just nice in their speeches. Julie always asks Dan to stand and face the nominees and he’s always already doing so. Now Dan’s giving a speech about how he got his hands bloody on day 1 and now the blood is up to his elbows. He thinks back to the Jury house and how Joe and Jenn both told him that there’s one thing in this house that he needs to break up and that’s Shane and Danielle. Shane is evicted from the Big Brother house.

Shane, you have been evicted from the Big Brother house.

Danielle is shocked. She is simply stunned. That’s what you get for trusting a snake Danielle. I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive Dan for this one. Ian is hyperventilating right now.

“Why do you continuously lie to me?” “I’m your coach, it’s my job to get you to the end and make sure you win. You can’t beat him in the case that he wins. Ian wins, he’s taking you. You can beat him. You have my vote, you have Shane’s vote, you have Britney’s vote, you have to get one more. I couldn’t tell you because you wouldn’t have believed me. That’s why I made that move.” “… HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BROKEN MY TRUST DAN?” “It’s day 70 and I’m telling you that’s why I did it. If you don’t believe me then lose your trust in me. My goal is to get you to the end and make sure you win. If you don’t believe me, that’s fine. You think he’s ever going to vote for Ian or me? No, that’s just sealing his vote for you. So you’ve got him, you’ve got Britney, you’ve got Jenn on lock, you’ve gotta get one more and that should be easy for you. You wouldn’t have believed me, you wouldn’t have went for it, but as your coach, I’ve gotta look out for you. If you don’t see that, you’ve gotta be mad at me, I understand.” “WHY DID YOU SWEAR, OVER AND OVER?” “Because at this point, I know how to get to the end. I know how to get you to win. You don’t know that.” “How do you know he’s going to take me over you?” “Who, Ian? Because he knows he can’t beat me after I pulled that crap. You’ve gotta remember that in this game, I make moves, but I’ve never made a move against you or to hurt you. My job is to get you to the end and to get you to win. That’s why I’m your coach.” “I looked at Shane and I swore to him, I swore to him, I said ‘Dan wouldn’t do that to you’!” “Well that’s why I didn’t tell you, so you wouldn’t have to lie to him.” You know… Dan brings up some good points. As far as we know, he’s remained loyal to Danielle since day 1, and if what he’s saying is true, he’s still working as her coach, even when his own ass is on the line. That’s pretty impressive.

Shane just raced out of that house. Once again, Dan has completely blindsided someone after swearing on his wife. Shane’s clearly in shock. “Dan’s just a dirty player.” The audience claps. Yup. He’s dirty. He’s effective. NONE OF YOU HAD TO TRUST HIM! Oh well.

Guys, we’ve got our final  three: Dan, Ian, and Danielle. Not sure I could have predicted this outcome. It’s certainly been interesting though. What a thrill ride these past 8 episodes have been. 28 down. 2 more to go.


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