Canadian Horror Blog: Asylum – Episode 5

Canadian Horror Blog: Asylum

Another 1964 opening. Are we done with the present day stuff? No, we can’t be. We still don’t know who 2012 Bloody Face is! Maybe in episode 6? Hopefully?

Sister Jude opens the episode by searching for Dr. Arden’s true identity. She’s seeing a… private investigator? Something? It’s not really explained what the guy does for a living, but he’s German (I think?). They’re now discussing Operation Paperclip, which is a REAL THING YOU GUYS! Well done Murphy and Falchuk! According to Wikipedia, “Operation Paperclip was the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) program used to recruit the scientists of Nazi Germany for employment by the United States in the aftermath of World War II (1939–45). It was conducted by the Joint Intelligence Objectives Agency (JIOA), and in the context of the burgeoning Cold War (1945–91), one purpose of Operation Paperclip was to deny German scientific expertise and knowledge to the USSR, the UK, and the newly-divided East and West Germanies themselves.” The implication is that Dr. Arden could have been one of the SS officers recruited by the US. I can’t believe this is actually starting to make sense.

Oh, speaking of Dr. Arden, he got shot. Anne Frank leads him into Sister Mary’s office looking for Sister Jude. Unfortunately for Anne, the guard who played the yellow-eyed demon on Supernatural pulls a gun on her. Yup. That’s how I’m referring to that actor/character. Anne gets sedated. Arden is rushed to a hospital. Barfvigny is nowhere to be found. Of course. A man shows up to speak to Sister Jude. The man is Anne’s husband. Well, he’s Charlotte’s husband. They have a son with colic. He blames the child on Charlotte’s “insanity”. After seeing a play based on the diaries of Anne Frank, Charlotte became obsessed. You guys, I have to say, I’m quite disappointed that Charlotte isn’t ACTUALLY Anne Frank. I mean… assuming she’s not. If Dr. Arden IS Hans Gruber, then how would Charlotte know about it? When Charlotte is brought down to her husband, she feigns ignorance. When he hands her a Polaroid of their family, she seems to snap out of it. Dr. Sylar thinks that Sister Jude is making a mistake letting Charlotte go, as he believes that she suffers from post-partum psychosis, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that Sister Jude will never listen to Dr. Sylar.

Kit and Grace are in solitary confinement, imagining that they are touching one another. Sister Mary comes along and releases Kit from solitary confinement, but Grace isn’t so lucky. She’s still scheduled to be “sterilized”. That is, until the aliens save her. 14:35.

FRENCH SONG! I’m growing quite fond of the French song. Apparently Dr. Sylar is following through on his plan to remove Lana from the asylum. Oh my gosh, there’s a baby tiger on my TV! Sorry, I’m watching this on my laptop and the TV is on in the background and there was just a commercial featuring a baby tiger. It was adorable. Sorry for the distraction. Dr. Sylar is now talking to Kit about admitting his guilt. He only wants Kit to confess if he believes that he’s the murderer. He believes that it will help if Kit can hear himself confess, so he records Kit’s confession.

This is relevant.
This is relevant.

Uh… Grace has been abducted. And she’s speaking with a very pregnant Alma. And then there’s lots of flashing and noise because that’s how aliens do.

James Cromwell and Jessica Lange have a nice repartee. I like watching them together, even though they’re both playing awful people. Arden wants Jude dismissed. He feels that she’s inept. Maybe he has a point. Arden retreats to his office. Sister Mary shows up just in time to change his bandage. I bet something weird is about to happen. It turns out that Sister Mary was the one who hid Barfvigny’s body. She’s gunning for the position of “right-hand lady” to Dr. Arden, once Sister Jude is disposed of. How diabolical.

We’re at a school. It’s recess. A young girl is drinking from a fountain when she hears a weezing noise. IT’S BARFVIGNY! HOW’D YOU GET THERE YOU LITTLE RASCAL YOU? Lol Barfvigny. You’re so silly.

Looks like Charlotte is back at Briarcliff. She was gone, what, a matter of minutes? Jeez. Apparently  Charlotte tried to strangle her baby. Her husband just can’t handle her. And now Dr. Arden’s going to handle her. I think he wants to lobotomize her.

Dr. Sylar just walked right out the front door with Lana. Gutsy. Did that actually just work? I’m kind of shocked. I never expected Lana to actually get out. Granted, she’s not actually out yet, so…

Sister Jude is babbling on about her pet squirrel or something. I don’t know. I kind of zoned out. I think it has something to do with her feeling as if her days at Briarcliff are numbered.

Anyways, back to the lobotomy. I hope aliens show up. I have no reason to think that they will, but I hope they do. I have to believe that Arden is performing the lobotomy because he needs Charlotte to forget something that she remembers. And by Charlotte I mean ANNE FRANK! I’M CALLING IT! SHE ACTUALLY IS ANNE FRANK! I BELIEVE IN YOUR INSANITY AMERICAN HORROR STORY!

Wow. So Lana actually did get out. And Sister Jude actually did leave Briarcliff. And Charlotte actually did get lobotomized. AND THERE ARE STILL 8 EPISODES LEFT! Guys, Lana Winter prefers red wine. Red, red wine. Are we convinced that Dr. Sylar is actually a good guy? I’m starting to have my doubts. American Horror Story has no room for a good guy. HOLY SHIT GUYS I THINK DR. SYLAR IS BLOODY FACE! Does that make sense? Lana’s gaze just lingered on a lamp shade for a very long time, and for some reason my first thought was “that lamp shade is made of human flesh”. He just finished saying “You’re the person to tell my story” and when he realized what he said, his smile faltered. OH. MY. GOSH. I AM FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW! HIS BOWL OF MINTS IS THE TOP PART OF A SKULL!!! HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP! I KNEW HE COULDN’T BE A GOOD GUY! SYLAR IS NEVER A GOOD GUY! Unless he’s Spock. Lana’s figured out what is going on. She asks to use the bathroom. Sylar directs her down the hall. Of course, he directs her not to the bathroom, but to a room filled with HUMAN FLESH. “I seen you’ve found my little hobby”. “You make furniture?” “Lamps, mostly. I make the shades myself.” “What kind of material do you use?” “… Skin.” BOOM! SYLAR HITS A BUTTON AND A TRAP DOOR OPENS BENEATH LANA! WHOOOOOAAAAA. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire.

The lamp that started it all...
The lamp that started it all…

It’s all hitting the fan now. Grace is back from her third encounter and she’s bleeding from her lady parts. Kit calls for help, but the cops come in and arrest him for murder. The confession that Dr. Sylar taped? He turned it in to the cops. WELL PLAYED BLOODY FACE. Well played. Kit’s dragged out of the room while Grace hoarsely screams “Alma’s alive!” Intense.

Lana’s lying face down in a room that looks like it’s used for killing. She’s chained to the floor, and before her lies… CLEA DUVALL! IT’S ALL COMING TOGETHER! “We’re going to continue our therapy now Lana. You can begin by kissing her cold lips. Don’t worry, she won’t bite. I took her teeth.” Shivers.

"I took her teeth."
“I took her teeth.”

So Sister Jude sees her days as numbered… and she goes out, gets drunk, and sleeps with some random dude. Hey Jude, don’t make it bad. I mean worse. Don’t make it worse Jude.

It looks like that lobotomy worked, because Charlotte is now the perfect housewife. “I’ve never been happier”. As she leaves the room, the camera slowly zooms in on a newspaper clipping with an image of Hitler and a group of SS. Standing behind Hitler? Dr. Arden. Or should I say… Hans Gruber? Boom.

You guys, I’ve got a confession to make. I haven’t really been enjoying this season as much as I thought (or hoped) that I would. As uneven as season one was, I found myself enjoying it despite its flaws. I don’t know if I just liked the present day “murder house” setting more or what, but Asylum is not having the same effect on me, which is confusing because I know that by all accounts, it’s regarded as the better season. Maybe it’s because I’m blogging about it? I am watching these episodes with half of the screen obscured by a Word document… Anyways, that all changed tonight. Everything that has been set up in these first five episodes kind of came to a head tonight, and it was delightful. I have no idea where things are going to go from here, but I’m finally excited to find out. Until next time… “You can begin by kissing her cold lips.”

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