Sorry this one’s so late. I’ve just been sooooo lazy. But hey, it’s up before the next episode, and that’s my goal, so quit complaining.
So Devin won the HoH competition. Somehow. And now he won’t shut up about his daughter. I don’t know that they’ve done a great job showing it, but the entire house HATES Devin. Like… they all want him gone ASAP. But he’s HoH now, so the Bomb Squad has to suck up to him and pretend they’re happy. When they go up to see the HoH rooms, Amber’s pumped to see her family, but Devin’s MORE pumped to see his daughter. His daughter. His daughter. He has a daughter. Daughter. Devin just said that he wants to play this game with integrity and as much honesty as he can. Sigh. A little too late for that Devin. Amber reads her letter from home and starts crying and Caleb just can’t stop gushing. “That’s the kind of girl I would want to take home to my mom and dad and say I picked a really great one. She amazes me every day.”
Hey, Devin’s been thinking about his daughter. Daughter. Daughter. There are a lot of things he’s done in this game that he’s ashamed of. So he’s coming clean to Donny. He’s telling him EVERYTHING, about how he tried to get Donny evicted. Poor Donny. He’s so nice. He appreciates Devin’s honesty and says it’s all good. Except Donny doesn’t trust him anymore. Good job Donny. Meanwhile, Zach is in bed just… dying. Oh no, Devin just announced that he’s going to let the entire house know about what he’s done. HOUSE MEETING! BAD IDEA! Devin’s crying. His voice is wavering. His daughter. He’s trying to justify why he was honest and deceitful. Is this a bad game move or is it the WORST GAME MOVE? They keep showing Donny in bed. Is he not in the house meeting? He’s just chilling in his bedroom, eavesdropping? Haha. Devin finishes his stupid rant. So now everyone in the house is thinking “If he influenced the nominations to that extent, then it must not have been about who fell off first at the HoH competition.” Caleb’s not happy, because he felt like Devin threw him under the bus by making him seem like a liar. Devin doesn’t seem to understand why people are mad at him. He’s making the exact same mistake that Joey did last week. Weird. Now Devin’s super upset that Brittany “twisted” his words. So now he’s gunning for her.
I Don’t Like Doing Anything:
Looks like Hayden and Nicole are… “flirting”? “What’s your favorite color?” “Mint green.” “What do you like to do?” “I don’t like doing anything.” “What’s your favorite movie?” “The Notebook.” “I really would take you on a date though.” “… Sttaawwwwppp…” Hayden makes Nicole feel good. So Nicole wants to bring Hayden into the Bifocals (That’s the name I made up for the alliance between Christine and Nicole). Because Weirdos need to stick together. So they bring him into the storage room. “It would… help people… if you were… with us.” “Like… you guys or the house?” “Like… specifically us. Like… we want to be in an alliance.” They can’t stop giggling. Awww, cute! Christine is now allied with 9 different houseguests. That means there are only 5 people she’s not allied with. Not bad Christine.
Oh no, Caleb’s talking about his loneliness. He says he just wants to cuddle. He wants to feel like he’s loved. Devin goes “Hey man, I’ll curl up with you dude.” “I know you will.” “I’ll always curl up with you brother.” “Cause I will cuddle up in a heartbeat.” There is no irony here. There is no… nothing. They are serious. Caleb’s crying. ADORABLE! “If I could sing you a song I’d sing you a great song right now.” Now KISS!!!!
Bomb Squad meeting. Devin wants Brittany and Pow Pow up. Amber doesn’t want to do two girls, because then it looks like she’s attacking the girls. But the only guys she can choose from are Donny and Hayden, and she’s not putting up Donny. So Derrick is suggesting Hayden and Nicole. Awww, the Weirdos!!! The Bomb Squad is not a fan of the “nominating a Bomb Squad member” strategy, which… yeah, makes sense. Poor Amber. She knows that she and Christine will be first to go if the Bomb Squad gets their way, right?
So apparently the Big Brother house is super dirty. Devin and Amber are trying to clean the kitchen, and Devin gets really upset when he finds hand lotion, because… people should be cleaning up after themselves? I mean, he’s really upset. So he confronts Brittany and tells her that they’re not animals and that the mess shouldn’t pile up so quickly. So he was already gunning for Brittany, but I mean… now she has REALLY put a target on her back. Because lotion.
How weird is all of this nomination stuff with the eggs? You pick an egg to see who will do their nominations first? Why an egg?
Pow Pow – She keeps talking about how much of a warrior she is, so Devin’s giving her a chance to pull out her samurai sword…
Brittany – She keeps twisting Devin’s words and questioning his integrity. “I don’t want someone like you in the house.” “Ditto.”
Hayden – Very strong player, who she loves.
Nicole – Very strong player, who she loves.
So Devin’s nominations didn’t go over very well… but at least he had… reasons? I won’t call them legitimate, but yikes Amber, what was that? You’re both very strong players who I love? Wow. Christine’s feeling awkward because one of her alliances is trying to evict her other alliance. Yeah, that’s the risk you take when you double up. Devin just walks up to Nicole and says “In 5 minutes come upstairs and I’ll give you a good explanation as to why you’re up. You’re not going home.” Devin leaves the room and Nicole whispers “Hell no I’m not going home. I’m staying and I’m coming after you.” Yeah, I like Nicole.
So Devin explains to Hayden and Nicole that his target is Brittany, and he put them up because Hayden is “beast mode” and Nicole’s on a different level intelligence wise? I don’t know. Devin’s telling them that he loves them both and that Pow Pow’s going to throw the Battle of the Block comp-hold up, what? Pow Pow’s going to throw the competition? Really? Does she know that? Because Pow Pow just promised Brittany that they’d take it. Brittany is fully aware that Amber’s nominations were made by Devin, so she’s intent on winning.
“I’m not gay, but the bond that Frankie and I have is so genuine and sincere that I truly feel like he is my boyfriend.” It’s ZRANKIE!!! So, if you haven’t been following the drama, Zach and Frankie are… super tight. And are allied. In more ways than just the Bomb Squad. And they have been for a long time now. And a lot of people were really upset that CBS had neglected to feature them in any meaningful capacity. So here it is. Finally. But… I can’t figure out what this is. I was under the impression that they were a couple. They cuddle, cook, swim, dance, etc. I mean, they’re a couple in everything but name. And yet… “I’m straight and I only date women.” Sounds to me like Zach is in denial. “Frankie, can you just like… caress me?”
Devin’s having a pow wow with Pow Pow. “Would you potentially ever throw a comp?” Devin’s telling Pow that he’s going to keep her in the game as long as possible, as long as she throws the competition. Pow tells Devin that she doesn’t like drama, and that’s all Brittany is contributing to the game. I’m not sure if Pow actually believes that or if she’s just telling him what he wants to hear. I guess we’ll find out.
Battle of the Black Competition: “We Did What?!”
So at 5:10 AM, a voice wakes the house up, declaring that the competition is about to begin. Donny says that it fells “like I’m back in Vietnam Devin.” Wink, wink. The houseguests go into the backyard and it’s another college themed competition. The backyard is trashed, in the way yards are trashed in movies by college parties. I don’t know if that’s accurate, so I’ll just have to assume that it is. Zach asks if he’s about to walk into his sixth year of college. Pow Pow’s claiming that she doesn’t yet know what she’s going to do. Which I kind of believe. Pow Pow doesn’t strike me as a girl with a plan.
There are a series of photos featuring the Big Brother houseguests in a variety of photoshopped shenanigans. Derrick will ask the two teams a question about one of the photos and then a series of them will flash by on a screen. The houseguests must buzz in to answer. If they get the question right, they get a point and the opportunity to bestow a punishment on the other team. If they buzz in and get the question wrong, the other team gets a point and a punishment is bestowed upon them. The first team to reach four points wins.
Question 1: “What was written in the UFO’s tractor beam?” The answer is “Moooo”, but Brittany guesses “Woooo”. Nicole and Hayden get a point and then award Brittany with the beer goggles because they’ll impair her vision. And according to a really weird filter that CBS applies to allow us to see what Brittany sees, they do just that. 1-0 for the Weirdos.
Question 2: “What animal was under the piano?” Pow Pow answers, “a CAT” and gets it right. Devin’s pissed because that’s not how you throw a competition. “All you had to do was say dog, bird, squirrel!” Pow gives Hayden the hangover cure, which is a mizture of pizza, soy milk, and hot sauce. Gross. Well… I dunno actually, without the soy milk, it sounds kind of good? 1-1.
Question 3: “What phrase was written on the tigers vest?” Nicole buzzes in an answers “BB Brewer”, but it’s actually “BB Forever”. Brittany is 0-2. Nicole and Hayden get a second point. They give Brittany the cannonball punishment, so she has to jump into the pool. Cody wants to give her mouth to mouth. 2-1.
Question 4: “Which two guys wore banana suits?” Pow Pow says “Brittany and Devin”, but it’s really Devin and Donny. Devin thinks she did it on purpose, but I’m not so sure. She gets the leaky beer helmet. “It’s not stopping” “Yeah, that’s the point.” 3-1.
Question 5: “Who was in the trashcan that said ‘Good ‘ol boy’?” Brittany buzzes in a third time and finally gets one right with “Caleb”. Hayden is punished with a swirly because because he hasn’t showered in days. “Reminds me of high school”. Nicole looks… concerned. “Do you need to wipe your face off?” 3-2.
Question 6: “It’s not a truly epic night without someone getting a new tattoo. What did Cody’s tattoo say?” That answer is “Bad Girl”. Hayden buzzes in. “Bad Girl”. Hayden and Nicole win! Possibly without Pow Pow even throwing it.
Amber is no longer HoH and she gets slimed because of it. She’s okay though, as long as she doesn’t have blood on her hands. Pow Pow claims to have thrown it, but maybe she’s just making up excuses for her poor play? Brittany hates that Devin remains HoH. It means she’s probably going home, but maybe she’ll win the veto? It’s certainly not looking good for her right now.
– – –
Well, that was a full episode which has led to a full blog. I’m wiped. See you tomorrow.