Blog Brother Season 3 – Episode 7: The One With Pictures

Big Brother 16 Logo

Yeah, yeah, I know this is late. There was something wrong with my recording of Big Brother last night, so it took a little longer, okay? You’re such a baby.

Don’t Mess With Us I Guess:

So Devin is the sole remaining HoH and if everything goes according to plan, Brittany’s going home this week. So how is the house reacting? Well, Devin’s pulling so many strings around this house that he considers himself the puppet master. He’s also got the IQ of a puppet. The Weirdos are currently dancing in the storage room, because that’s their de facto meeting area now. “I mean don’t mess with us I guess.” Oh, that was adorable Nicole. Brittany seems intent on staying. Gooood luck with that. Devin’s apologizing to Hayden and telling him that he wouldn’t have put him in this position if he wasn’t sure Hayden would be safe. He’s explaining to Hayden that Pow Pow threw the competition, and according to her, “I could’ve dominated that.” Yeah, okay Pow Pow, whatever. Then it gets weird. Devin pulls him into an awkward one-arm hug and starts whispering promises into his ear. Things about putting money in his pocket and keeping him around as long as “any of us”? I don’t know. Devin’s messed up.

"I mean, don't mess with us, I guess." Totes adorbs.
“I mean, don’t mess with us, I guess.” Totes adorbs.

So apparently the Bomb Squad is split – there’s the Devin-supporting Bomb Squad (AKA “The Idiots”, Caleb and Amber) and the rest of the Bomb Squad (Derrick, Zach, Cody, Frankie, and Christine). They know that Devin is the only person who actually wants Brittany gone. They’re just doing Devin’s dirty work for him and they’re done. They all like Brittany and they all want Pow Pow gone. Whichever one of the nominees stays in the house, they’ll bring into their little side-alliance. Interesting.

I don’t even know why Amber still talks to Caleb. I mean… he’s so creepy. Devin’s getting worried. He thinks that Amber and Caleb’s “flirt-mance” is going to tear apart the team. Which means that Amber is putting a target on her back in Devin’s eyes because he thinks this makes her a threat. DEVIN. UGH. Derrick has approached Caleb, Amber, and Christine and they’re talking about who to send home. Derrick thinks that they should rally against Devin. Caleb says that he’s started butting heads with Devin. Amber says that Devin doesn’t allow her to talk. Christine finds Devin mean and demeaning to Amber. So… everyone hates him. This is going to be fun. Oh gosh, Caleb just said that when it comes down to it, he’s going to protect his “queen” more than Devin. SHE’S NOT YOUR QUEEN CALEB!

So Caleb confronts Devin over the Brittany nomination. Everyone thinks that Devin put Brittany up for personal reasons and Devin goes “It WAS a personal reason. I made sure everyone knew it was a personal reason.” So Caleb tells him that people want Pow gone, not Brittany. Devin says that’s stupid. Who’s a bigger threat to the alliance? Devin says it’s Brittany. Derrick and Frankie remain silent. Devin says it’s because of Amber. Devin gets pissed and says that Caleb’s getting love-struck. Devin keeps looking to Derrick and Frankie for support and they’re just… avoiding his gaze. Caleb tells him that both girls are scared to talk to him and Devin says that’s ridiculous. So they go to confront Christine. Frankie thinks this is a bad idea because the Bomb Squad is going to blow up in front of everyone. Aaannndddd now Devin is talking to himself. “Whatever bro, you’re a love struck puppy. Whatever bro. I don’t even care. Everything was fine and then you… UGH!” HAHAHA. Devin’s going to BLOW. After a brief “chill” session in the HoH room, Devin’s back outside confronting Caleb. Devin just straight up tells him there’s no more alliance. The whole thing is done. Caleb tells him that’s fine, because he’s going home next week. Yikes.

 

If You Want To Bake An Apple Pie From Scratch:

So Frankie and Derrick are the final two members of Team America. Frankie, Derrick, and Donny. DONKIE! No, that doesn’t work. So in order for all of the members of Team America to find out who each of them are, they need to go to the workout bench at 9 PM and use a sentence involving the phrases “Bald Eagle” and “Apple Pie”. This is fun. So Derrick’s out by the bench, asking people what their favorite desert is. Frankie says he’s really partial to apple pie. Amber likes cheese cake. Caleb’s not a desert person. Frankie says “Have you ever been to the New York zoo?” and Caleb says that he likes animals, particularly zebras. At Derrick’s zoo, they’ve got a bald eagle, which isn’t a very uncommon animal. Caleb explains that bald eagles will put their claws into a mountain goat and push it straight off a cliff. Look it up. “That’s sad”, says Amber. So Derrick and Frankie know what’s up, but who’s the third team member? As soon as Donny steps outside, Derrick knows it’s him, because America loves Donny. Donny seems completely clueless until he says “I’ll show you” and he’s got “apple pie”… written down on the side of a cup? “That’s crazy, we were just saying that. Apple pie.” Nope, the cup has a picture of a piece of apple pie on it. Hahaha, where did he even find that? “What’s the bird on the back of a quarter?” “Bald eagle!” “Bald eagle.” According to Frankie, Team America has “the …, the beard, and the beauty.” I don’t know what the first one was because my feed cut out. Brains? Braun?

Time to pick players for the Veto competition. Devin draws Zach. Brittany draws Derrick. Pow draws Amber. So theoretically, it’s four Bomb Squad members against the nominees. And yet, didn’t Devin break up the Bomb Squad? Time to find out. Caleb’s gone upstairs. Time to apologize. Devin doesn’t think that he’s said a bad thing in any way to a girl and he doesn’t take that stuff lightly. Caleb disagrees, but he’s not going to tell Devin that. Now Caleb’s telling Devin that others in the alliance want Brittany to stay. Devin thinks he’s full of crap, but he’s not going to rock the boat. So… effectively… both of them are full of it. Annnndddd Caleb says too much. “I told them I’m not putting you up.” “… Who said put me up?” “… Uh… everybody. They’re all saying ‘Man, Devin’s just causing a lot of problems in this house’.” Devin’s not surprised. So he’s calling another meeting. DEVIN. NO! YOU’RE CAUSING MORE DAMAGE!!!! UGH!!!! So the Bomb Squad has assembled. “So it’s time for everyone to put on their Big Brother face, their big boy pants, no emotions, let’s do this already.” Devin wants everyone on the same page. He says it’s not a one-person dictatorship. He explains that he promised that Pow would be safe, but who does everyone else want to evict? Amber says she has no problems with anyone. Derrick notices that as soon as the ladies are around Devin, they clam up and are unable to properly express themselves. Zach chimes in, saying that Pow is by far the weakest player he has ever seen in this game and he likes Brittany more, so he wants her to stay. Devin’s expression is priceless. “What are you talking about?” Silence. Zach says that because their alliance is so large, none of them are ever going to be on the same page about anything. Devin then asks which person wanted to vote him out. Silence. No one says anything. So now Zach is worried, because he said too much. He’s the only person who stuck their neck out because the rest of the Bomb Squad is filled with COWARDS! Time for damage control. Zach’s telling Devin that he’s said some stuff he didn’t mean and that he’s loyal to the end. “So you’re one of the people who told me you wanted me out of this house.” “Did it come out of my mouth? Yes. Did I mean it? No.” So now Devin is OF COURSE going after Zach. Jeez Devin. Devin is just the worst. Time to rally around each other and backdoor Devin guys.

"You want Brittany to WHAT?"
“You want Brittany to WHAT?”

Power of Veto Competition: “Blast Off (???)”

Space-Themed Veto Competition
They never said what this competition’s name was… So I’m calling it “What The Hell Is Pow Pow Doing?”

So as the houseguests are getting suited up, Devin tells Pow that if he wins the Veto, he’ll pull her off. Zach doesn’t like this because it proves that Devin’s not looking out for anyone but himself. True. So it’s a space-themed Veto competition. Devin notices that all of the planets have Big Brother-themed names, like “Mcrandia” and “Brenchel”. He’d like one named after himself. “Devtopia sounds kinda nice!” Shut up. So, let’s see if I can explain this challenge properly. Each houseguest as what is effectively a spinning planet mobile that you would see in a classroom or hanging over a baby’s crib. There are 5 metal rods that are suspended above the ground and the houseguests must balance 10 different planets on those rods so that none of the planets touch the ground. Once they’ve done so, they run and hit the “warp drive button”, which will “return them home”. The first one to hit the button without any of the planets touching the ground wins the Veto.

Shut. Up.
Shut. Up.

So… I have no earthly idea (pun intended) how I’ll explain this competition to you. Some of these competitions are just really difficult to explain. It’s hard enough to follow them when you’re watching them on television. Apparently Devin just ripped his pants? Really? Derrick is saying that he wants to keep the nominations the same and vote Pow out which I think is a good idea. Brittany is really struggling. So is Amber. This actually looks really difficult. “You’re looking cute Amber”, Donny chimes in. Pow is struggling. She hates that the galaxy keeps hitting her in the fricking head. She keeps going “Ow”. I love the sound effects that the editors have put in over this competition. They’re super cheesy and awesome. The Weirdos are laughing at Pow Pow. Hayden thinks it’s hilarious that she can’t do anything. Zach was doing really well until three of his plants dropped off. Once one of them goes, the rest follow. It’s a real balancing act. Derrick and Devin are super close. Everyone wants Derrick to win and Derrick “kicks it up a notch” and “steps into another gear”. Devin looks over at him. “Derrick hasn’t figured it out and it snaps and hits me – I’m a born competitor”. Good lord Devin. Derrick thinks he has it. But Devin beats him. $%^&! That means Pow is going off the block, which means… Zach is going up? Pow says she’s not sure she can trust Devin because he’s like the devil. Very true Pow. Very true.

This is a decent pick of what this mobile looks like. Once again, if you haven't already seen this competition, I have no idea why you're reading this.
This is a decent pick of what this mobile looks like. Once again, if you haven’t already seen this competition, I have no idea why you’re reading this.

This Is Sparta:

Zach’s got to go into damage control mode AGAIN. Hey, look, it’s Cody! He’s still in the house! Devin’s asking Zach straight up – Pow Vs. Brittany, who’re you voting out? Zach says “Whatever you want man” and Devin says no, answer the question. “I don’t care.” “I don’t trust you.” Devin knows that Zach’s just telling him what he wants to hear. Aaannddd he is. When Devin’s like this, there is no talking him out of it. There’s no way. So Zach meets with Frankie. Zach’s explaining that he was trying to be open and honest but clearly that’s not working. Frankie goes “Aaarreee you surprised?” “What did I say that was so bad?” “You disagreed with him!” “Yeah, but I didn’t lie though!” “RIGHT! WHY AREN’T YOU LYING?! Why are you telling the truth?” Frankie lays it out – you disagreed with him, so he doesn’t trust you. Hold up – it… maybe I’m crazy, but it looked like Zach and Frankie were about to kiss and CBS cut away. Maybe it was just weird positioning. Man, I’ve rewound this like… eight times now. I honestly can’t tell. I guess people would be freaking out about it if it were the case. You decide.

Is it? Are they? No, probably not. BUT HOW WEIRD DOES IT LOOK?
Is it? Are they? No, probably not. BUT HOW WEIRD DOES IT LOOK?

Brittany has decided to set aside her pride to go work something out with Devin. Goooood luck with that Brittany. Devin’s telling her that he sees her as a huge threat. Brittany is now trying to bond with him on the parenting thing. Hey guys, remember when we thought that Devin was a great guy? For like… an episode? Is that guy still in there? Brittany’s talking about the sacrifices she has made to be here. She seems to be getting through to him, but Devin wants to know that she would be loyal for the rest of the game. He wants to know that she would have his back for the rest of the game. Brittany agrees, but she feels like she’s making a deal with the devil. Devin’s now telling her that Pow Pow threw the competition, and he doesn’t want that getting out. SO WHY ARE YOU TELLING HER DEVIN?! He says he’s looking for good faith, so if he tells her this and she keeps it a secret, he knows that he can trust her. Oookay Devin.

Now Devin’s talking to Zach. It’s just… a repeat of stuff they’ve already hashed out. Devin thinks that Zach told him just so he wouldn’t hear it from someone else. Which… yeah. Duh. Why… else would he tell you? Zach’s still going with the honesty card, and then… he steps in it. “If you want to put me on the block, do it.” “Bro, that didn’t even cross my mind until you just said it just now.” Devin claims he didn’t even consider it, but now that Zach has “asked for it”, he just might go there. Yikes. Really Devin? You’re going to put Zach up because… he asked for it? How is the Bomb Squad going to react if he puts up an alliance member? This is MADNESS. If he takes Brittany off, then Pow Pow’s furious. If you takes Pow Pow off, then, well… Brittany’s mad, but she already was. If he puts Zach up… man, I don’t know. This is the worst you guys. Devin is just… the worst.

Boring Veto Ceremony time! Instead of begging for her life, Pow Pow says that this is the only time she’s going to shine, so she starts… posing. And… yeah, that’s about the extent of Pow Pow’s gameplay. Brittany stands up and declares that she’s not a threat and that there are people who will stab you in the back if you keep them in the house, like she had done to her. Then she tells everyone that Pow Pow is her target. Yikes. Devin has decided that Brittany is a great woman, a great person, and an even better mother. He refuses to let a single mother of three sit on the block and potentially walk out the door, so Devin is USING THE POWER OF VETO ON BRITTANY WHAT IN THE ACTUAL *%$&. Devin throws Zach up on the block because, well… according to Devin, he asked for it. Wow, looks like that’s – hold up. “Can I say something really fast?” Record scratch. Brittany’s got something to say. Apparently, all hell breaks loose post-Veto meeting. Is Brittany about to call Pow Pow out in front of the entire house? It sure looks like it.

– – –

Sorry. I know this was a little scattered and sloppy. I ended up writing this in three sittings, which is not optimal. But hey, you got pictures, so stop complaining.

This is why Donny's my favorite.
This is why Donny’s my favorite.
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